Edward Grows a Spine
by jolttheroadrunner
Summary: Edward is tired of not being strong enough and being treated like the youngest of the campers, but when his brothers decide to pay a visit, they thrash him, so he decides to grow a backbone and fight like a man. Will he be a man or be a wimp like he is right now?
1. Chapter 1: Lunch Conversation

One day at Camp Kidney, Edward was in Pinto Cabin with Chip and Skip, his two bunkmates and was angry over about how he was never getting enough attention.

"God, this is ridiculous, it's like i'm forgotten, I never get enough attention like everyone, maybe it's cause i'm the youngest camper in Camp Kidney, or maybe it's cause i'm an embarrassment in my family, It's always that stupid Lazlo who always gets all the credit and with his two dweebs Raj and Clam, man I want all the attention!", complained Edward.

"Uh Edward, can you tell if i'm growing hair?", asked Chip.

"Or if i'm growing hair on my arms and legs?", asked Skip.

"I swear if you two morons ask me that question one more time!, I'm gonna hang your clothes on the top of the tree!", threatened Edward. "Of course your growing hair, you're hitting freaking puberty!".

"What's puberty?", they both asked.

"Forget it", said Edward giving up on their stupidity.

Later on that day, Edward was at the Lunch Room eating with his friends Chip, Skip, Samson, Dave and Ping-Pong.

"Hey guys, which one of you is the strongest?", asked Edward.

"Well ummmm, neither of us why?", asked the five.

"Because I'm the youngest and I feel like a baby and the weakest camper here on Camp Kidney", said Edward.

"Oh Edward, just because you're the youngest doesn't mean you are a baby", said Dave.

"Yeah, like you act more mature than the rest of us", said Samson.

"And you have more common sense", said Ping-Pong.

"Yeah, that's why you always lead us", said Chip.

"Yeah you guys are right, I do act like the leader around here, but that still doesn't mean that I'm strong and I was even an embarrassment in my family", said Edward.

"Oh Edward, I'm unlucky too, that's why I get no respect from anyone", said Samson.

"Well I hate to be you, I wish I was more successful like Lazlo and get all the attention", said Edward.

"Maybe you should be less mean and more nice!", said Dave.

"Less mean?", said Edward.

"Well you boss us around, you treat the other campers, even us like crap, and you're incredibly jealous of Lazlo and you want all the attention for yourself!", said Ping-Pong.

"Look, I was abused my whole life by my four older brothers before I even came to this camp, so that's why I decided to act like a douchebag to everyone", said Edward explaining his backstory.

"Wow, harsh", said Samson.

"I know right!", said Edward.

End of Chapter 1 


	2. Chapter 2: Edward's Brothers arrive

Later that evening, Edward was getting ready for bed as he put on his green nightshirt with Chip and Skip already in their red nightshirts.

"Well, time for me to hit the bed, good night dungs", said Edward.

"Good night Edward!", said Chip and Skip.

"As soon as Edward was about to fall asleep, his phone rang and it was from one of his brothers, Cheesly. "Oh shit, not him!", said Edward scared. He didn't want to answer it because he was afraid that they will show up tomorrow and bully him but he had to because he didn't want to get beaten up for not answering his phone so he answered it.

"Hello?", answered Edward.

"Hey Edward, how are you doing?", asked Cheesly.

"Uh, Fine, how about you?", asked Edward.

"Oh just fine, hey we're coming over to Camp Kidney tomorrow", said Cheesly.

"WHAAAAT!?, tomorrow!?, why?", asked Edward scared.

"Because we want to see how our little pipsqueak and his friends are doing and whip them into shape, that's why", said Cheesly.

"Oh okay, I guess I'll tell Slinkman that you guys are coming to visit", said Edward.

"You do that Edward, and you won't even dare tell him we were picking on you or your friends because if you do, you'll be sorry for the rest of your life capish?", said Cheesly.

"Uh yeah, capish!", agreed Edward sheepishly.

"Good boy, now good night!, see you tomorrow!", said Cheesly.

"Okay good night", said Edward still scared as his bully brother hung up and Edward put his phone down and was shaking like crazy.

"Oh man, I knew the day would come!", said Edward paranoid.

The next day, Edward was still scared and was shaking.

"Hey Edward, why are you shaking", asked Chip.

"Are you about to erupt like a volcano?", asked Skip.

"Or are you shivering because you're cold?", asked Chip.

"No you morons, I'm scared because my brothers are coming to visit!", said Edward.

"Uh brothers, hey Skip!, do we have brothers?", asked Chip.

"I don't know, Chip", said Skip.

"Why do I even bother?", asked Edward to himself annoyed.

Edward then heads over to Scoutmaster Lumpus' office to talk to Slinkman.

Slinkman was sitting down when Edward walked into the office.

"Hey Edward, what do you need?", asked Slinkman.

"Hey Slinkman, I have to tell you something", said Edward.

"Yes, anything", said Slinkman.

"My brothers are coming to visit today!", said Edward pretending to be happy.

"Oh, well that's special, it's nice that they're coming to visit, about time that Camp Kidney gets whipped back into the peaceful, happy state it was four years ago", said Slinkman.

"Yeah, they told me last night, it is nice", said Edward.

"Okay, you may leave now", said Slinkman dismissing Edward.

"Thanks, Slinkman", said Edward leaving.

"Anytime", said Slinkman.

A few hours later Edward was outside scared with the other campers.

"So why are we out here again Edward?", asked Lazlo.

"For the last time Lazlo, my four older brothers are coming to visit!", said Edward.

"And that's a problem why?", asked Lazlo.

"They are the worse, they bullied me for their whole lives even before I even came here!", said Edward.

"Wow, that's harsh, I feel ya Edward", said Lazlo.

"Well thanks, Lazlo, even though I hate you, you're still a good friend", said Edward.

Just then there was a driving sound and a car approached Camp Kidney and it pulled up in front of the camp, Edward was worried as ever.

"Oh god, it's them!", he thought as the people got out of the car and it was revealed to be Edward's four older brothers.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't little ol' Edward and his fellow scouts", said Cheesly.

"Hey, bros", said Edward greeting his brothers.

Just then the office door opened, it was Slinkman. "Huh, what was that noise, oh, you four, you're Edward's brothers, good to see ya!", said Slinkman.

"Heya Mr. Slinkman!", said the four bullies.

"Edward told me that you four were gonna come here and make Camp Kidney a peaceful state like it was 4 years ago", said Slinkman.

"Yeah, we want to make Camp Kidney special again!", said Cheesly lying through his teeth.

"That's nice, and if you need anything, be sure to stop by my office", said Slinkman.

"Okay Mr. Slinkman", said Cheesly.

As soon as Slinkman walked into the scoutmaster's office and closed the door, Cheesly and his three brothers quickly reverted to their mean side.

"Is he gone now?, okay listen up pipsqueaks!, it's time to whip you creampuffs into shape, old school!, dodgeball!", said Cheesly.

"Oh crap, not dodgeball!", thought Edward.

"First up, Edward!", said Cheesly wanting to bully Edward again.

"AAAAAHHHH!, no!, noooo!", screamed Edward.

"Get over here, Edward, you'll be our opponent whether you like it or not!", said Cheesly as he grabbed his beaver tail and dragged him over to the target.

As soon as they placed Edward to the target, Edward grabbed a blindfold and wrapped it around his face.

"I wish this day hadn't come!", said Edward in fear.

Then Cheesly and his brothers threw dodgeballs at Edward repeatedly and completely injuring him.

"(gasp!)", gasped the other scouts in shock as they brutalize Edward.

"Wow, that is cruel!", said Lazlo.

"What are they doing to poor Edward!?", said Raj.

"Terrible brothers!", said Clam.

As soon as they were finished throwing dodgeballs at Edward, Edward was left brutalized and lying on the ground.

"Aaaughhh", groaned Edward in pain.

"Now this is how you become men, scouts, by being tough and mean!", said Cheesly. "This is what we will be doing from now on!".

"I do not like this Lazlo!", said Raj.

"Me neither, Raj!", said Lazlo.

End of Chapter 2 


	3. Chapter 3: Patsy teaches Edward

Later on that day, Edward after being beaten up and in bandages after going to Nurse Leslie's office, he thinks about how he's going to get back at his brothers.

"How am I going to stand up to my brothers, they're so freaking strong!, I know, I'll ask the Squirrel Scouts, but I hope I don't get beaten up", thought Edward as he went over to Acorn Flats.

As soon as Edward arrived at Acorn Flats, Patsy and the other Squirrel Scouts were talking until they saw Edward.

"Look a Bean Scout!", said Nina.

"Let's get him!", said Gretchen as she and the Squirrel Scouts charged at him.

"WAAAAIIIT!", screamed Edward as the Squirrel Scouts halted in time.

"Listen, there's something I need to tell you girls", said Edward.

"What is it?", asked Patsy.

"My brothers are bastards, they used me as a victim for dodgeball and they bullied me for my whole life and even before I came to Camp Kidney, so I need your help!", said Edward.

"Ooohh, so you want our help to make you be a man?", asked Patsy.

"Yes", said Edward.

"Well you got it!", said Patsy.

"Oh thank you!, what would I do without you girls!", said Edward.

"Alright, let's get down to business", said Patsy

Later Patsy and her friends were teaching Edward lessons on how to be a man.

"Alright Lesson 1 on how to stand up for yourself, never be afraid", said Patsy to Edward.

"Never be afraid, that's easy, how am I gonna be afraid?", said Edward.

"Oh you'll see, MS. MUCUUUUS!", said Patsy.

Suddenly, there was a rumbling sound and then Ms. Mucus came running straight towards Edward and stopped right in front of him.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the platypus boy", said Ms. Mucus.

"Be strong Edward, don't be afraid!", said Patsy.

Edward attempts to be assertive and angry and challenges Ms. Mucus.

"Listen here, Mucus, I'm gonna beat the living daylights out of ya!", said Edward.

Then Ms. Mucus beated the living crap out of Edward until he was bruised badly like he was when he was attacked by his brothers.

"Uggghhh", groaned Edward.

"Okay, let's move on to Lesson 2", said Patsy.

"Lesson 2, always know your enemy", said Patsy.

"Always know my enemy?", asked Edward.

"Always know their attacks", said Patsy. "Gretchen, your up".

"Oh boy, this is gonna be great!", said Gretchen as she walked up to Edward.

"And NOW!', said Patsy.

Gretchen attacked at Edward and Edward blocked that attack, which Gretchen was surprised.

"Wow, you were ready for that one?, well i've got more coming for ya!", said Gretchen.

"Bring it on sister!", said Edward as he blocked more of Gretchen's attacks.

Soon Gretchen was tired out of attacking Edward and didn't even land a single hit.

"Man this is humiliating, I should've knocked the shit out of him!", Gretchen complained.

"Woo!, Edward!", cheered the girls.

"They're cheering for me, yeah!", said Edward in delight.

"Alright, now for your next lesson", said Patsy.

"Lesson 3: always fight back!", said Patsy.

"Always fight back?", asked Edward.

"Yes, If someone hits you, you hit them back and show them you're not a pushover!", encouraged Patsy.

"Okay, I think I got it", said Edward as he had boxing gloves placed on his hands.

"I'll fight you", said Patsy.

"Okay", said Edward.

Patsy then punches Edward and punches him a few more.

"Alright sister if you punch me one more time!-", said Edward as he was cut off by another punch by Patsy until Edward had enough and gave a single punch to Patsy's cheek making a tooth come out of her mouth.

"Wow, okay I think you got it", said Patsy amazed.

And after a few more lessons, Edward felt like a man and no longer a wimp.

Well, (pants), how do you feel Edward?", asked Patsy.

"I feel like a man!", said Edward.

"Good, I think our work here is done girls!", said Patsy. "Good luck out there Edward".

"Thanks Patsy", said Edward. "Now to show my brothers who's boss!", said Edward heading back to Camp Kidney.

End of Chapter 2 


	4. Chapter 4: Edward Bites Back

Meanwhile, back at Camp Kidney, all the other Bean Scouts were looking beaten up after being the victims of Dodgeball by Edward's Brothers.

"Lazlo, I hope Edward comes back to help us!", said Raj.

"We need Edward's help!", said Clam.

"I know guys, I don't know where Edward is either, maybe he's at Acorn Flats", said Lazlo.

Suddenly, a voice was heard by the other scouts and Edward's Brothers. "HEY, STOP PICKING ON MY FRIENDS!".

It was Edward and he was looking angry and tough as he walked up to his brothers.

"Hey guys!, Edward's back!", said Lazlo in excitement.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't platypus junior who decided to come back and play another game of dodgeball", said Cheesly.

"Oh, I have a better idea, how about a little hand-to-hand combat?", said Edward.

"Ooohh, so the little pipsqueak wants to play rough?, well you want it, you got it!", said Cheesly as he walked up to Edward and tried to pound him but Edward quickly dodges and grabs Cheesly's beaver tail

"Huh-WHAA!", screamed Cheesly as Edward started slamming him left to right and swings him around a few times and throws him to the ground. The other three were afraid about even going near him but Alpine went up to him to threaten him.

"Alright Edward, I'm gonna knock you out so cold, you won't even know what happened!", said Alpine as he raised his fist and tried to punch Edward but he blocks it and punches Alpine in the cheek like he did to Patsy making a tooth come out of him.

Then Fancy Pants and Phillip charge towards him then suddenly, Edward strikes them with his beaver tail by jumping and spinning around slapping them and they fall to the ground. Now his four older brothers were afraid of him and didn't even dare go near him again.

"Man, Edward's a killing machine!", said Cheesly.

"Yeah, let's get the hell outta here!", said Alpine as he and the other brothers ran out of Camp Kidney and never came back.

"Hooray Edward, you saved us and Camp Kidney!", said Lazlo.

"You're a hero, Edward!", said Raj.

"Hooray for Edward!", said Clam

"Why thanks guys, it was all done by the help of the Squirrel Scouts", said Edward.

"Wait, so you mean to tell me that the Squirrel Scouts helped you become strong and beat up your brothers?", asked Samson.

"Correct, Samson!", said Edward.

"Oh fair enough", said Samson satisfied.

"What is going on out here?, what the hell!, Edward!, where in the hell are your brothers?", asked Slinkman.

"I don't know, Slinkman, I didn't see them leave Camp Kidney, honest!", lied Edward.

"Have you guys seen Edward's brothers?", asked Slinkman to the other scouts.

"No we haven't", lied the scouts as well.

"Man, where the hell are they, now how is this camp supposed to be back in business?", asked Slinkman in frustration.

End of Story 


End file.
